my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
