no you cant smoke seaweed
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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