Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
