Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Randomize