If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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