But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Little spoons don't ask big questions
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
