What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
