how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
