Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
