i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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