I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
