A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
