I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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