So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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