Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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