i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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