Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
