Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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