Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
