Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
