is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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