After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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