Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
