Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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