Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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