I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I wanna passion pit in your ass
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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