So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
