we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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