u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
