you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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