pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
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