Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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