would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
