i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
