When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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