Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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