I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
