She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
