She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
