I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
