I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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