Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
