I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
