your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
