Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
