with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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