Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He better not be in your backpack
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
