So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
