He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
