i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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